So often, we hear the word “boundaries” and think about keeping people out of our lives. We build walled gardens, so to speak, to keep the riff-raff out and protect ourselves from getting hurt. But what if boundaries are more about keeping us in our own lives? What if they’re about keeping us focused on our goals and dreams?
Think about it this way: when you have a clear boundary, you know where you end, and someone else begins. This is incredibly important in maintaining healthy relationships. But it’s also crucial in achieving your dreams. Because when you have a clear boundary, you can say “no” to the things that don’t serve you and “yes” to the things that do.
Far too often, we women convince ourselves that we have to do it all. We can have a successful business, a happy family life, and the healthy social life—all while looking like a supermodel, of course. And when we don’t achieve all of those things perfectly, we beat ourselves up for it. Sound familiar? If so, it’s time for a change. It’s time to set some boundaries.
Contrary to popular belief, boundary setting isn’t about keeping people out of your life. It’s about keeping you living in yours!
When you set clear boundaries, you protect your time, energy, and sanity. You become clear about what is and isn’t acceptable to you. And as a result, you can focus on what truly matters in achieving your dreams.
Now that we know why boundaries are necessary let’s discuss how to set them.
Here are 3 Tips How You Can Set Boundaries
1) Be Clear About Your Goals
The first step is to be clear about your goals. What is it that you want to achieve? Once you have a clear objective, it will be easier for you to make decisions—including setting boundaries—that will help you achieve that goal
2) Communicate Your Boundaries To Others
You need to communicate with others and verbalise or write down what your boundary is.
This will help hold you accountable and make it easier for others to understand and respect your decision. For example, ‘I can’t go out tonight because I have an early meeting tomorrow morning. Another example will be letting family or friends know ahead of time if specific topics are off-limits during catch-up conversations. By communicating what your boundary is, those closest to us can tailor their actions around respecting our wishes.
If we never communicate our boundaries, others will never know what they might be crossing. If there’s something someone does consistently which bothers us, but we never mention anything, then how can they know? They might think their behaviour is perfectly normal! Be upfront with people from the get-go, so they are clear on where they stand with us from the beginning
3) Hold Yourself accountable, and learn to practice self-discipline,especially when it is tough!
An excellent way to test this is by thinking, ‘well, what I’m about doing now get me any closer to my goal? Is this furthering my vision for life or taking me away from it?
For example, if our goal was to focus on being healthy and happy, but every time friend asks to meet up for coffee, we always end up eating cakes as well, then it’s time to start saying no!
Discipline ourselves even if it’s hard to say no at the moment because it helps push reach goals! When we catch ourselves breaking our own personal boundaries, it is ok! Life surprises us, but having the discipline and knowing what you want means ‘no’ become easier each time and becomes more natural.
Boundaries aren’t about keeping people out of our lives; they’re about keeping us living in our own lives. They’re about achieving our dreams and staying focused on what’s important to us. So next time someone asks you to do something that doesn’t serve your larger purpose, say no—and mean it! Your future self will thank you for it.
Setting boundaries isn’t easy—but it’s worth it. When you set boundaries, you protect your time, energy and sanity. You become clear about what is and isn’t acceptable to you.
As a result, you can focus on what truly matters achieving dreams.